and insecure... which breaks things i want too much to work... and it frightens people away...
once they get to know me... its like oh shes like that... then they leave...
but i wont change....cause i like being a freak... but i wish i knew someone who could handle the freak in me!
the only problem with this is that they cant be boring... i just couldn't handle being with a boring person
i need to be surprised and shocked by what they do and i want to keep guessing on what we do next...
i need entertainment and fun in my life to stay... which is one of the reasons my last relationship didnt work
but anyways this following song is how i feel about the person that im trying to work out something with... idk what we are right now which caused me to freak out a bit last night after he didnt respond to little old me... i might be more needy than i thought when i really like someone... anyways these are my feelings....
so my favorite people while driving are the ones who pass me...
I'm whats called a hypermiler... though not as extreme as the one in the following video i save a good amount of gas in my ford focus wagon which i approximate usually is estimated to get 26mpg but i manage to get 30-35mpg which is a substantial difference in the amount of money i spend on my 10 gallon tank... which makes me visit the pump every 10 days or so... which is nice rather than every 2 or 3 days...
But anyways my favorite two things happened in the past 2 days...
last night driving home i got lights flashed at me and the finger.... my first ever!
then on Tuesday morning driving to school i had an old man pass me with a honk and a fist shake! it was so epically hilarious i nearly peed myself!
in case you think im being sarcastic ill just straight up tell you how much i enjoy people honking and flashing their lights at me because i just think of them wasting all their gas on their acceleration to pass little old me... their impatience is costing them lots of money and my planning and slow acceleration is saving me lots!
Jamie ended up killing himself on 9/19/2011 because of the hate and slurs against him
what i don't understand about this situation is why people feel the need to bring others down just because they are different
why do people hate things that are so natural and beautiful?
i think that it is due to ignorance and fear... many people dont know that homosexuality is as old as humans themselves... there is evidence that the ancient Romans would have strictly male orgies, and even in times like the Napoleonic era homosexuality was known of if not supported
But for the fear aspect i think that people fear themselves more than others due to the stipulations and hate that goes with being "gay" i think that modern religion especially those that condemn such a natural thing are the cause of this problem.
Many people do not know that there are very few people who are strictly straight or strictly gay and that in fact most people are somewhere in between with an inclination for either end or both in the case of bisexuals
but this pain that Jamie must have felt would have to have been too painful to bear which i think that many people can relate to... i know that i can... i myself have been called gay or lesbian from time to time, or for example when i was in middle school i cut my hair very short and gave it away to locks of love but one of the girls that i had gone to private school with called me a boy for the fun of it...
what can you say to something like that? and only because i was different from her and her uber prissy and girly ways...
thats what i dont really get about society... why must girls act different from boys and vice versa?
why can't people just accept each other for what we are? DIFFERENT
something that i like to say is that there is no such thing as "NORMAL" and "FITTING IN" because its a ridiculous objective because not even identical twins are the same in their brains So "WEIRD" or "ABNORMAL" are meaningless as well because once again there is no such thing as "NORMAL"
I hope that wherever Jamie is right now he is in peace... because sorry folks there's no such thing as hell its only there to keep human morals in check...
Rest In Peace Jamie, Forever.
may your soul never find the horrors of this world again
So Mondo came to my school today
i had my picture taken with him but my eyes are closed... this calls for a side project...
i did a project in high school with photo shop where we cartooned ourselves ima do it with me and mondo
ill post the result when its done mmkay?
but heres other proof
his hair is so fab and he decked himself in orange and yellow
yay bowties and philau water bottles that provide further evidence
jackie chan secret singer of epic movie soundtracks
had a dream about my friend tom last night
it was wierd cause i havent seen him in like 2 or more years i think
i wonder where he is
what is he doing where he is
just a thought
i love this song by the way it makes me dance like no one is watching... even though they usually are
Now that its sunk in that its truly over between us...
Why is it that i feel so less lonely than i was when we were together?
Is it me?
Or was it you, clingy overbearing and kind
I think it was you... because how could i feel better now that its over?
maybe it was because i didn't know what love felt like...
and i still don't
but i know that love doesn't feel like that
Pain anger emptiness
and yet when i think of how i hurt you i cry
still don't understand what it is that makes me do that
because im happy now
content soaring Free
I'M FREE
of everything we once were and will ever be
and i no longer worry that you will be the only one who will ever love me
Sunshine, Smiles and freedom
Today I should be in school getting to know my classmates,
getting to know my teachers, and letting them getting to know me. But I’m not,
not anywhere near class or school, definitely nowhere near my teachers or
classmates, not learning about them, or letting them learn about me. I’m on a
road that I have been down many times before, but never like this I’ve never
not wanted to go in this direction, because it means confronting myself, and my
missing heart piece. A piece of my heart and me will be gone when I finally
return home. I wanted to see them because it has been a while but never like
this, never watery. Water spilling from everyone, instead of bubbles, and
sunshine… water instead of rays of light and bursting flowers. I’ll miss it
when I’m there and when I’m home I’ll miss the phone calls, and the silly words
“how are you doing in school?… got any boyfriends?… i love you more than meat
loves salt, gotcha!... Breanne can hug me anytime for a nickel or a dime, fifty
cents for overtime!” I’ll miss the denture smile and the rough beard against my
cheek. I’ll miss the worn body in the easy chair and the snacks that were bad
for him, but that he ate anyway. I’ll miss the stubborn jackass of him and the
complaining that we don’t visit enough.I’ll miss the strong hugs, hugs that I never thought could be that
strong. I’ll miss the burnt pancakes, the strange food likes and the only
fishing trip we ever went on together. I’ll miss the stories about the Cheetos
and the baseball games. I’ll miss the scooter and the truck that was a smaller
version of the one at home. I’ll miss the familiar road and the deer painted on
the garage. With our memories we all fade in time.
environmental vid
take a gander
Thursday, August 25, 2011
funniest video ever... i know nuns and some of them might have actually done that which i think is better but what can you do?
i just think its an icebreaker if ever you've seen one although the glue would never be that good. anyway yeah thats all i really have to say today
besides a shout out to steph to see if she reads this...
so i never thought the day would come that i would fall in love with a tv show that i thought was the dumbest idea ive ever seen for a show... GLEE.
i guess that i didnt like it because everyone else does or near next to everyone...
but Glee is what i think friendship should look like and love of music does look like not to mention the fact that they have quite a few lookers and strong personalities that i admire because of their bravery as characters
and i have a huge crush on Sam better known by his real name Chord Overstreet... i just love those big luscious lady lips and the very charming smile on his Tennessee born face those lips are utterly lickable and i was sad to find out he will not be making an appearance on season 3 of Glee.... but im sure that they will find an ultra-hot replacement for him heres looking toward the topping of that luscious "Rocky" impersonator (as in Rocky Horror not Rocky that punches things)
he is already sorely missed by this newly converted GleeK (isn't he adorable? i like a man who can pull off glasses and make them mighty sexy)
i fell into this GLEE trap by chancing upon the Glee project which i am voting holeheartedly for either sam or hannah but i just found out she is no longer in the running so sam it is then i just love those dreads and the intense smokey eyes hes got going on... though Chord still plays on my heart strings
i really want to intern with their fashion department because they do great things with the looks they create and its what im doing with my life... or at least what i have planned so far. that would be a super awesome opportunity even though i know i would probably be trying to get the slushie coloring out of their clothes most of the time never the less it would still be epic.
-and thats how bre c's it
