Alice in WOnderland remix is wonderful!

I've wanted to post this for awhile but haven't gotten the chance to :)

something from my facebook that i thought might be good to post here oh and a song too!

so i've come to realize a few things
a.) you cant always get what you want ...
if you're always working
2) that thing you want must sometimes come to you...
within a reasonable amount of time
7)planning doesn't mean anything if you want it to mean something...
at least when you make an attempt to see someone that is either ignoring you or is too busy to give you a second thought
f) if that thing with the friend is true then you say "screw 'em. i do what i want."
.... or something like that
q) and if you say "screw 'em i do what i want." they are so missing out...
but so are you
17) and lastly if i don't socialize more i will never become a jedi...
but i need someone to do that with who wont mind if i do work while we socialize...

I like this song muches even though its slightly depressing but thats what life is and what cuddling is for!

 

 

Is it bad...

to get angry at people
who dont respond to any messages you leave them?
i think no... but i do get hint so i wont be speaking to that person
until they talk to me...

still angry though
as i should be
cause i take time out of my day to think of them,
and write them messages
and stuff...

i even offered to visit this kid at work which was out of my way
but he gave me an excuse and hasn't offered to do something similar which makes me mad as hell
i understand that he's busy but he could take 2 seconds to talk to me
fucking common courtesy...

he did before, talk to me but it seems
that since my presence has dissipated
he doesn't think of me anymore
kinda not cool

i mean i think alot of girls feel this way..
when stuff like this happens to them

idk about other people but i do tend to build something out of nothing
and thats what this could be but i doubt it
cause he said he liked kissing me...
and we sort of want the same things
but i guess i was a bit annoying with the amount
of messages i left him...
but he wouldnt respond...
then i flipped out cause i didnt hear from him all day one of the days...
and he said that it was awkward for me to be mad at him cause
he left his phone at home and didnt get my messages

im tempted to leave him a really long message about somethings but
i doubt that he would read it all the way through ...
hes done that before
i write a longish message with various questions and bam no response...
but he hasn't defriended me yet so ill let him breathe
but i have a feeling if i dont let him breathe  he'll def  end up
deleting me as a friend on facebook
grr i hate boys... maybe lesbian is the way to go...
at least i understand girls better than boys
well besides gay boys...

anyways thats my week.. kinda upsetting huh?

so im such a freak....

and insecure... which breaks things i want too much to work... and it frightens people away...
once they get to know me... its like oh shes like that... then they leave...
but i wont change....cause i like being a freak... but i wish i knew someone who could handle the freak in me!

the only problem with this is that they cant be boring... i just couldn't handle being with a boring person
i need to be surprised and shocked by what they do and i want to keep guessing on what we do next...
i need entertainment and fun in my life to stay... which is one of the reasons my last relationship didnt work
but anyways  this following song is how i feel about the person that im trying to work out something with... idk what we are right now which caused me to freak out a bit last night after he didnt respond to little old me... i might be more needy than i thought when i really like someone... anyways these are my feelings....

Driving...

so my favorite people while driving are the ones who pass me...
I'm whats called a hypermiler... though not as extreme as the one in the following video i save a good amount of gas in my ford focus wagon which i approximate usually is estimated to get 26mpg but i manage to get 30-35mpg which is a substantial difference in the amount of money i spend on my 10 gallon tank... which makes me visit the pump every 10 days or so... which is nice rather than every 2 or 3 days...

But anyways my favorite two things happened in the past 2 days...
last night driving home i got lights flashed at me and the finger.... my first ever!
then on Tuesday morning driving to school i had an old man pass me with a honk and a fist shake! it was so epically  hilarious i nearly peed myself!
in case you think im being sarcastic ill just straight up tell you how much i enjoy people honking and flashing their lights at me because i just think of them wasting all their gas on their acceleration to pass little old me... their impatience is costing them lots of money and my planning and slow acceleration is saving me lots!

I'm wierd and like foreign music like these guys

Ignore the photos listen to the haunting melodies...
they give me chills

I just found out about this today...

Jamie ended up killing himself on 9/19/2011 because of the hate and slurs against him
what i don't understand about this situation is why people feel the need to bring others down just because they are different
why do people hate things that are so natural and beautiful?
i think that it is due to ignorance and fear... many people dont know that homosexuality is as old as humans themselves... there is evidence that the ancient Romans would have strictly male orgies, and even in times like the Napoleonic era homosexuality was known of if not supported
But for the fear aspect i think that people fear themselves more than others due to the stipulations and hate that goes with being "gay" i think that modern religion especially those that condemn such a natural thing are the cause of this problem.
Many people do not know that there are very few people who are strictly straight or strictly gay and that in fact most people are somewhere in  between with an inclination for either end or both in the case of bisexuals
but this pain that Jamie must have felt would have to have been too painful to bear which i think that many people can relate to... i know that i can... i myself have been called gay or lesbian from time to time, or for example when i was in middle school i cut my hair very short and gave it away to locks of love but one of the girls that i had gone to private school with called me a boy for the fun of it...
what can you say to something like that? and only because i was different from her and her uber prissy and girly ways...
thats what i dont really get about society... why must girls act different from boys and vice versa?
why can't people just accept each other for what we are? DIFFERENT

something that i like to say is that there is no such thing as "NORMAL" and "FITTING IN" because its a ridiculous objective because not even identical twins are the same in their brains So "WEIRD" or "ABNORMAL" are meaningless as well because once again there is no such thing as "NORMAL"

I hope that wherever Jamie is right now he is in peace... because sorry folks there's no such thing as hell its only there to keep human morals in check...
Rest In Peace Jamie, Forever.
may your soul never find the horrors of this world again

Mondo Guerra At My School

So Mondo came to my school today
i had my picture taken with him but my eyes are closed... this calls for a side project...
i did a project in high school with photo shop where we cartooned ourselves ima do it with me and mondo
ill post the result when its done mmkay?
but heres other proof

 

his hair is so fab and he decked himself in  orange and yellow

yay bowties and philau water bottles that provide further evidence

epic video thanks Mo

jackie chan secret singer of epic movie soundtracks

had a dream about my friend tom last night
it was wierd cause i havent seen him in like 2 or more years i think
i wonder where he is
what is he doing where he is
just a thought

i love this song by the way it makes me dance like no one is watching... even though they usually are

As per suggestion/demand... by raymond i now post my dyes and my final projects from the last two design classes and some other stuff

 Bleach Techniques

 walking monk(above): i'm apprenticing my professor who is awesome and a dye master

 Marble(Above): His name is Raymond and he has a blog too

 Straight fold(above):These are all bleach samples made on cotton corduroy

 Accordion(Above): This one is my mom's Favorite... i think its because of the straight lines...

This was my Final project for design 1 in owen's class she loved it and gave me an A of coarse lol

 posted for Raymond

I hand sew the center horizontal line this is the detail from the front

Detail of straw blown pattern

Another Straw blown pattern with black and gray

Bubble pattern Straw blown

Straw Blown Black

"would you feel anything at all?"

No more ties

Now that its sunk in that its truly over between us...
Why is it that i feel so less lonely than i was when we were together?
Is it me?
Or was it you, clingy overbearing and kind

I think it was you... because how could i feel better now that its over?
maybe it was because i didn't know what love felt like...
and i still don't
but i know that love doesn't feel like that
Pain anger emptiness

and yet when i think of how i hurt you i cry
still don't understand what it is that makes me do that
because im happy now
content soaring Free

I'M FREE
of everything we once were and will ever be
and i no longer worry that you will be the only one who will ever love me
Sunshine, Smiles and freedom

Grandpa...

Today I should be in school getting to know my classmates, getting to know my teachers, and letting them getting to know me. But I’m not, not anywhere near class or school, definitely nowhere near my teachers or classmates, not learning about them, or letting them learn about me. I’m on a road that I have been down many times before, but never like this I’ve never not wanted to go in this direction, because it means confronting myself, and my missing heart piece. A piece of my heart and me will be gone when I finally return home. I wanted to see them because it has been a while but never like this, never watery. Water spilling from everyone, instead of bubbles, and sunshine… water instead of rays of light and bursting flowers. I’ll miss it when I’m there and when I’m home I’ll miss the phone calls, and the silly words “how are you doing in school?… got any boyfriends?… i love you more than meat loves salt, gotcha!... Breanne can hug me anytime for a nickel or a dime, fifty cents for overtime!” I’ll miss the denture smile and the rough beard against my cheek. I’ll miss the worn body in the easy chair and the snacks that were bad for him, but that he ate anyway. I’ll miss the stubborn jackass of him and the complaining that we don’t visit enough.  I’ll miss the strong hugs, hugs that I never thought could be that strong. I’ll miss the burnt pancakes, the strange food likes and the only fishing trip we ever went on together. I’ll miss the stories about the Cheetos and the baseball games. I’ll miss the scooter and the truck that was a smaller version of the one at home. I’ll miss the familiar road and the deer painted on the garage. With our memories we all fade in time.

environmental vid
take a gander

funniest video ever... i know nuns and some of them might have actually done that which i think is better but what can you do?
i just think its an icebreaker if ever you've seen one although the glue would never be that good. anyway yeah thats all i really have to say today
besides a shout out to steph to see if she reads this...

GLEE... Yes seriously i am now offically a GLEEK

so i never thought the day would come that i would fall in love with a tv show that i thought was the dumbest idea ive ever seen for a show... GLEE.
i guess that i didnt like it because everyone else does or near next to everyone...
but Glee is what i think friendship should look like and love of music does look like not to mention the fact that they have quite a few lookers and strong personalities that i admire because of their bravery as characters
and i have a huge crush on Sam better known by his real name Chord Overstreet... i just love those big luscious lady lips and the very charming smile on his Tennessee born face those lips are utterly lickable and i was sad to find out he will not be making an appearance on season 3 of Glee.... but im sure that they will find an ultra-hot replacement for him heres looking toward the topping of that luscious "Rocky" impersonator (as in Rocky Horror not Rocky that punches things)

he is already sorely missed by this newly converted GleeK (isn't he adorable? i like a man who can pull off glasses and make them mighty sexy)
 i fell into this GLEE trap by chancing upon the Glee project which i am voting holeheartedly for either sam or hannah but i just found out she is no longer in the running so sam it is then i just love those dreads and the intense smokey eyes hes got going on... though Chord still plays on my heart strings
i really want to intern with their fashion department because they do great things with the looks they create and its what im doing with my life... or at least what i have planned so far. that would be a super awesome opportunity even though i know i would probably be trying to get the slushie coloring out of their clothes most of the time never the less it would still be epic.
-and thats how bre c's it