sometimes i wonder...

... if there isnt one person that another is perfect for
which leads me to wonder if karma has effect upon that relationship

because in my short life i've only felt truly attracted to one person
and i think due to the fact that i lost them karma is not liking me so much.

This song is how i feel... but its more the way its being sung than the words themselves

Depression

I've been really down for the past few weeks, and i cannot define it in any other capacity then depression.
morbid... i know but i cant help it...
in those dead and empty moments where im by myself  i end up thinking too much...
the true definition of an introvert but i cant help but think about my future...
but contrary to normal i have found some very depressing topics to contemplate...
where i would normally daydream about some wonderful adventure i ended up thinking of my future and how
i will most likely be alone for my whole life... because i have chosen my career before others...
i plan to take the world by storm... but that storm tends to blow away any chance of love entering my heart...
and whats worse even if i did find someone to love there is no guarantee they would want what i want from a relationship... for instance.... i dont want to get married, or have kids... because commitment scares me and kids are distracting and often a nuisance but i have a feeling that the person i want will not want the same things... which worries me...
because i hate to see people in pain, and i would never want anyone to sacrifice their own desires because they love me, that kind of feeling for others is perhaps beyond my scope of understanding feeling.
i occasionally wish that i was a machine in the emotions department (and work ethics) but i may yet regret that wish because i dont know if i can feel for others the way they feel for me...

Does that make me a monster?

Or am i more human than i think?